"Untied" by Meredith Baxter
I’m not a big fan of autobiographies but one book caught my eye and that was Untied by Meredith Baxter. I have always been a fan of Meredith Baxter’s and I saw her on the Today show with Matt Lauer when she timidly announced that she had become a lesbian.
I felt bad for her because she said she wasn’t ready to talk about this. She came out at that time only because a magazine was going to out her and she felt she had no choice. But, there it was and she was out so she was determined to live her life out of the closet and be proud of herself and her partner. So, when she was offered a book contract, she accepted, and thus began her new life.
Her story begins when she is very young and unhappiness is the only emotion she can remember. She identifies her mother as being the cause of her problems. But as the book goes on, there are more than enough people in Meredith’s life to cause her misery. She comes to believe that she is a victim and she plays that role for most of her life.
She seldom makes choices or decisions. She allows others in her life to guide her and even when she is completely certain that something is wrong for her and will turn out badly, she does it anyway. She knows that marrying David Birney is going to be the worst mistake of her life but still she marries him. A large part of her book is devoted to accusing him of many despicable things.
When she finally has the courage to divorce him, she falls into a marriage that is worse.
In between these disastrous relationships she has a serious health scare, sinks into alcoholism, and has several more ups and downs that all happen to her, while she just lets them.
In need of money, she rented the apartment above her garage to a young girl named Paula. Paula was openly gay.
She and Meredith went for walks and to the movies and Paula introduced Meredith to the gay lifestyle. For Meredith, this was the first time she felt like she had found her place in the world. She then met Debbie and finally she met Nancy. She and Nancy met for coffee, and coffee, and coffee and coffee. In other words, they took it very slow. They have been together for over three years and Meredith has finally found her place in the world, her comfort zone. And of course that isn’t even close to how she feels.
When you spend over 50 years feeling that you can do nothing right and that you deserve all the criticism that is heaped on you and then you find that you are not just all right, you are loved and accepted and valued and all you have to do is be yourself, it must be something that can’t be described.
I read parts of 64 reader reviews of this book and all but two of the reviewers loved this book and were so happy for Meredith. I was one of two . Meredith is happy. She keeps saying that. But her words sound angry. I don’t think her stepfather Jack, who she claims tried to seduce her is happy. I don’t think her husbands, David Birney or Michael Blodgett who she claims is a cross-addicted bum who used up her money are happy.
If you go to Amazon.com and look up Untied, go to the Editorial Reviews. The first thing you will see is a letter from the author. She explains why she wrote the book and how happy she is now. There is no mention of the people she accused of making her life so miserable, no forgiveness, no sense of understanding that she may have made their lives equally miserable.
So that is the story of one of my favorite TV actresses. I now know too much about Meredith Baxter. But I know one important thing –She is HAPPY!
Editor's note: A copy of "Untied " by Meredith Baxter is in the Yocum Library collection.
