Cinderella ate my daughter : dispatches from the front lines of the new girlie-girl culture by Peggy OrensteinBook Review: Miriam Stone
The title of this book is misleading. It implies that it might be light reading possibly concerning the pros and cons of the Barbie doll. And it is, and there is a commentary, but this book is so much more.
It is also a well researched and documented piece in which Orenstein attempts to show that commercial advertising is designed to teach young girls that their goal in life is not to achieve academic, artistic, or athletic prowess, but rather a girl should always seek to make herself the fairest in the land, so that when Prince Charming comes along he will pick her and they will live happily ever after.
Children’s marketers use the code “KGOY” for “kids getting older, younger.” There is a full line of make-up for six year olds, there are padded bras for five year olds, It is not uncommon to see nine year olds in the emergency room because of bulimia or anorexia. More and more it is becoming common for fifteen year olds to opt for plastic surgery.
Grimm Brothers fairy tales have been rewritten by Disney to mesh with more “modern” values. Parents are being bombarded in every direction with the “Disney Princesses” a concept that made over a billion dollars for Disney before they did any advertising.
Last April, Disney, along with Target held the first ever “Princess Week.” The idea was to make little girls feel like princesses and feel that all the sparkle of being a princess comes from within. It was a nice try but too abstract for these little girls to understand.
It is hard to think that there is anything wrong with pretending to be a princess especially a Disney Princess. They look good, they smell good, they wait for the prince, they live happily ever after. Eventually girls grow out of the princess phase and that’s it. Orenstein shows us that it is never it. These lovely tales have left imprints on our girls for the rest of their lives.
They retain the message that perfection and appearance are what is important. It is better to look good than to feel or think in a positive way about their actions. When the princess stage is reinforced, girls eventually equate how they look with how they feel; they only feel positive about themselves when they think they are pretty and stylish and thin. This negative concept that they have adopted is encouraged by the massive marketing industry.
For example, if you haven’t seen it, take a look at the very popular television program “Toddlers and Tiaras.” Little girls compete for the tiara and big money prize. Before a toddler can get on stage she must get ready. That means – bleached blonde hair on a lot of these toddlers, additional hairpieces to make a little girl look like a bad version of Dolly Parton. Then there is the fake suntan, fake eyelashes, fake fingernails, a fake set of teeth to cover the spaces where the baby teeth have come out.
Police Officials and a Child Psychologist had a lot to say upon viewing this “Toddlers and Tiaras.” The police officials informed parents and pageant leaders that this program is a welcome call to child molesters. They love to watch little girls walk around in a seductive manner. These little girls do just that, and if a molester takes a liking to a particular girl all he has to do is wait. Each of those little girls has her full name and the city and state in which she resides announced as she parades around the podium.
The psychologist who watched said that when a girl is sexualized this early, she may never be able to identify her sexual role as an adult. Our girls are struggling with self-image, self-worth, self-confidence and all the other self-things they have to conquer. Good role models are hard to find. In trying to be hot and sexy girls are becoming more and more disconnected with any sort of healthy sexuality. Girls are making objects of themselves and as a result are being seen as objects by boys.
Rather than defining who they are based on how they think, what they feel, what they believe, girls are defining themselves based on their physical assets. This kind of thing has been out there for a long, long time. It seems to be escalating. Orenstein doesn’t pretend to know when it begins for each girl. She raises thoughtful questions and she makes the statement that she doesn’t know how any parent of a young daughter could find this anything less than extremely alarming.
As an addendum : The topic of how little girls are sexualized at such an early age is very popular at this time, and I looked for other things I could read before I wrote this review. On Proquest I found over 700 full text articles. The more I read the more I wanted to read.
The author of one article came to the conclusion that from a very young age, girls have to be taught that they can take care of themselves. They must be given the tools to do it and we must give them constant reinforcement that they can handle their lives themselves. We must teach them that imagination is a wonderful thing to have, but it is not real. There is no prince charming and she doesn’t need a prince charming.
Meanwhile, boys aren’t in training to serve girls. Nor are they equipped to battle the dragon that follows the princess around. If a boy and girl like each other it is for the qualities each possess and not for a fairy tale dream that always ends up horribly.
The paperbag princess by Robert Munch is a popular book for parents to read to their daughters. It is in the children’s section of The Yocum Library.
Cinderella ate my daughter by Peggy Orenstein is on the new book shelf. There is so much information in this book, and it is all important. I could only cover a small portion of it..
